A Memorable Grad Gift that gets Kept
While money is the most common (and expected) gift given to high school graduates, for the right person, perhaps a little thought and creativity is in order for a gift.
Tis the season, when the school year is winding down and college graduation ceremonies are held, and high school ones are soon to follow. As someone whose day job is in retail, we are currently in the middle of the graduation “season” with people coming in to purchase decorations, plates and napkins, and the various other items needed for graduation open houses. One question that gets asked quite frequently is what kind of gifts do we have available for grads. Aside from small novelty knickknacks, and a few motivational books, we really don’t have all that much.
This is not surprising, since by and large the standard gift most often given to (and expected by) graduates is money. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with giving cash as a gift. However, it is a lamentable fact of life that the costs associated with college have become so outrageous that no matter how much money a graduate receives from friends and family, it will be minuscule compared to the expected college costs. There was a time when ones savings from part-time work and open house gifts would be enough to purchase books, supplies, or even possibly to cover the costs of studying abroad, however this is unfortunately no longer the case. But that is another article...
Given this reality, it would seem that the proper course of action is to put a little more thought and effort into picking out a graduate gift. I have written elsewhere about other suitable gifts, especially for family members or people you are close to, such as offering to pay for lessons for cooking, dancing, or other adulting skills. However, sometimes some of the most heartfelt gifts can come in the simplest packages.
One graduation gift idea that I have settled upon for some time now is to give a gift bag filled with three special items.
A Hand-Written Note
I rarely give off-the-shelf cards, unless it says something uniquely profound or is particularly funny. If it is someone I am well-acquainted with, I take the time to write out a letter extolling all of their positive qualities and talents which best represent their best self, as well as what sage advice I can offer for their future.
A Pair of Sunglasses
This one is more of a light-hearted gift, but I try to find out what their favorite color is and then purchase a pair of sunglasses in that color. Along with it, I include a note explaining the significance. When I was in high school there was a whimsical one-hit wonder song entitled “The Future’s so Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades” which repeated the line, “things are going great, and they are only getting better...the future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades.” In the note I explain that the glasses are a visible sign and reminder of the uplifting words I penned in the letter I wrote to them, and how their future will be as bright as they make it out to be. I recommend that when things get rough in life, they are to put those shades on and “stay cool” and re-read the next gift.
The Poem “If”
The last item in the gift bag is a copy of the famous poem “If” by Rudyard Kipling. I will usually print it out on some sturdy card-stock in a bold font and place it in a frame. Although the nineteenth century wording may be off-putting to some, the poem’s ideas about having a stoic sense of endurance in the face of adversity, and a virtus in medio stat outlook on life between apathy and rashness, are timeless. The poem’s words should be seen as guide posts along the graduates future which will serve them well to memorize and develop into habits. When CD’s were a thing, I used to burn a copy of Sir Michael Caine reading the poem, along with a stirring soundtrack, to include in the gift bag so they could carry it in their car and play it when the mood called for it.
NOTE- Although the poem was inspired by a failed coup d' état of the Transvaal Republic by Leander Starr Jameson, Kipling had his son John in mind when he wrote the poem in 1895. Thus the poem ends with “you’ll be a Man, my son!” which obviously will not be fitting for female graduate. Hence when the poem was meant for a young lady I have simply changed the ending to say, “You’ll be a woman, the name of the individual.” While some may find this practice odious and disrespectful to the poem, it is because I have so much respect for the poem that I was willing to change the ending - in a way that does not alter the Kipling’s timeless words.
Graduation time is a time of great change for young people, and behind their jovial and gregarious disposition of finally being “so over” high school, there is often a lot of anxiety and trepidation about their future. I think many of us as adults, who have long since found our place in the world, may have forgotten what it was like to be their age. This is to say nothing of the overall dour mood of our society and the spiritual ennui of the modern world that offers little in the way of a sustaining narrative to get young people to yearn for something more than the superficial minutiae of contemporary life. We owe it to our young people to give them more than just cheap gifts and cliched bromides at such a crucial time.
I have given graduates these gifts for about the last ten years, to family members, the children of close friends and many of the stellar young men and women I have had the honor of training, working with and getting to know at my place of work. I have yet to be told by any of them that they did not like the poem. In fact, I have come to realize that given the paucity of English education these days, the poem “If” is almost never taught (too “white” and “colonizing”) and was breath of fresh insight to them. And amazingly, I am still in contact with some of them who still have the framed poem among their possessions!
If we know someone who is graduating high school this year, we should endeavor to give a little extra thought and effort for a graduation gift. For money will be spent, cheap trinkets will be thrown away, and even more substantial gifts, such as a watch or a laptop, will most likely be forgotten in time. But some heartfelt words, an inspiring poem, and classy pair of sunglasses can give them something to reflect on or think about over and over again, because in the end, inspirational words are not a gift for them, as much as they are a gift about them.
Lastly, if these words resonate with you at all, then don't be stingy with your own suggestions in the comments section below with poems, prayers, or maybe even songs that you believe can inspire a young graduate.
Photo Credit- Wiki Commons with editing done by the Everyman staff.